


Time Present and Time Past

by carolinecrane



Series: Retrograde [20]
Category: CSI: Miami
Genre: Barebacking, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2004-03-06
Updated: 2004-03-06
Packaged: 2018-05-28 02:26:04
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,003
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6311431
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/carolinecrane/pseuds/carolinecrane
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>There are lots of ways to say 'I love you'.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Time Present and Time Past

They've only been at the party for half an hour, and Tyler's already thinking of excuses to leave. He feels a little guilty about it, because they're his friends and he's the one who made such a big deal about going in the first place. If he'd asked when Tim showed up at his door he knows Tim would have gladly agreed to skip the party, to stay home where they could be alone and try to figure out what's happening between them.

He's pretty sure he knows, but he's not positive, and he won't be until he gets Tim alone. Tim who's been glued to his side since they got to the party, nursing the same beer someone pressed into his hand when they first walked in. He hasn't complained yet, but Tyler can tell how uncomfortable he is, and he's not sure if it's the roomful of strangers or the tension between them.

It all comes down to that kiss in his hallway, a few seconds that went by in a blur of want and tension and he hasn't been able to stop thinking about them since. He's still thinking about them when he looks at Tim, smiling and leaning in to talk over the party noise. "What do you say we get out of here?"

"You sure?" Tim asks, but he's already setting his beer down on the nearest flat surface, and Tyler laughs and reaches for his hand.

"Positive," he answers as he pulls Tim toward the door. It surprises him a little that Tim doesn't try to pull away, surprises him even more when one of his friends calls his name and Tim's grip tightens. He grins to himself and pulls the apartment door open, not even looking back to see who's trying to get his attention before they're in the hallway and closing the door behind them.

When they reach the elevators there are people waiting, and Tim grips his hand a little harder and tugs Tyler past the elevator, to a door he can only assume leads to the stairs. Not that it really matters, because as soon as the door swings shut behind them he's pressed up against the wall, Tim's mouth hot against his neck and he's been waiting all night for this. Even longer, because he's been thinking about it since yesterday, and spending last night alone was the hardest thing he thinks he's ever had to do.

Tim's mouth is moving on his skin, not as urgent as he expected but it feels good, like maybe Tim's reminding himself of how they fit together. And it hasn't been that long, but it feels like forever, and he slides a hand in Tim's hair to force him to look up. "Do you have to go back to your place tonight?"

"No," Tim answers, like leaving Tyler is the last thing on his mind, and his heart skips a beat at the thought. "Matt can fend for himself."

The wave of relief takes him by surprise; he's been telling himself all day that he'll understand, that if Tim needs to spend some time with his brother it won't bother him. He'd almost managed to convince himself by the time Tim showed up at his place, but as soon as Tyler saw him he knew he wasn't going to be able to let Tim walk out again. Not until they figure this thing out, anyway, and he has a feeling that's going to take awhile.

But Tim's kissing him again, mouth soft against his and he doesn't seem like he's in any hurry to go anywhere. And now Tyler really wishes they'd blown off the party, because they still have to make it all the way down to the car and then back across town before they have any prayer of privacy. It's hard to focus when Tim's kissing him like he's committing this to memory, hands low on Tyler's hips and their chests pressed together.

He can feel Tim's heart beating through his shirt, tapping out a rhythm just a little faster than Tyler's. His hand slides out of Tim's hair to press between them, fingers splayed across his chest to feel Tim's heartbeat under his hand. Any second now he's sure he's going to wake up from this dream, because they're standing in a more or less public place where anyone could walk in and catch them, and Tim's kissing him like it doesn't matter if the entire crime lab parades through.

They need to stop, at least long enough to find someplace a little more private, but he can't bring himself to push Tim away. He doesn't want to remind him where they are, doesn't want to watch all that self-consciousness come rushing back. Not when Tim's kissing him slow, thoroughly like he's got something to prove. Tyler doesn't know if he's proving something to himself or to Tyler or maybe to both of them, but he doesn't really care as long as Tim doesn't stop any time soon.

It's not like they haven't done this a hundred times before. But there's something different about this time, about the way Tim's hands fist around his shirt at his waist and the needy little noises he makes in the back of his throat when Tyler shifts against him. And they're not in a hurry, but Tyler has a feeling they should be, and that makes it even more intense.

He hears a moan, flushing when he recognizes the sound as his own. Tim pulls away then, mouth moving restlessly along Tyler's jaw before he finally pulls back, almost as though he's having trouble making himself stop. Tyler knows exactly how he feels, because he's hard and his heart's beating way too fast and still it's all he can do not to drag Tim close again.

"We should go," he says, pushing himself off the wall when Tim nods. His legs sway a little under him and he can't help laughing at that, because he must be losing it if he can dance for hours without missing a beat, but one kiss makes his forget how to walk.

"What?" Tim asks, stopping in the middle of the stairs to look over at Tyler.

"Nothing," he answers, taking the opportunity to sway close and steal another kiss. It starts out as just a quick press of lips to the corner of Tim's mouth, but Tim turns into it and suddenly they're pressed together again, Tim's tongue in his mouth and promising things that would get them arrested if anyone walked in on them.

He pulls away with an effort, because he's hard just from the thought and getting arrested for indecent exposure would be even harder to explain than why Tyler bailed Tim's brother out of jail. He murmurs something that might sound like 'home' and turns away, taking the steps as fast as he dares until finally – _finally_ – he's at the bottom. Tim's right behind him, hand on the small of his back as they reach the sidewalk and head toward Tyler's car.

He couldn't have picked a worse night to insist that they go to a party all the way across town, because now there's the whole drive home ahead of them and his fingers are twitching against the steering wheel as he shifts the car into gear. When he pulls onto the highway it's mostly deserted, though, and he sends up a quick prayer of thanks for small favors and presses the gas pedal a little harder.

Neither of them have said a word since they got in the car, but he can feel the weight of Tim's gaze on him and when he glances over Tim doesn't look away. Something about Tim's expression sends a shiver of anticipation down his spine, and he swallows hard against it and turns back to the highway.

"I should have told you sooner."

It's an apology, but he doesn't want it. He doesn't have to ask what Tim's talking about – they've both been thinking about it since last night, since Matt told Tyler everything he knows and left him with a dozen more unanswered questions. He still wishes he'd heard it from Tim, but he's not sure when would have been the right time to tell that story, and he finds himself shaking his head.

"No," he says, gaze shifting away from the road long enough to locate Tim's hand and lace their fingers together. "I mean, I understand why you didn't. It's a lot to tell."

Not the kind of thing that comes up in casual conversation, certainly, and not the kind of thing you tell someone you're sleeping with but don't see a future with. So in a way he's glad Tim wanted to tell him, that he thought about it before Matt took the choice away, but he doesn't want him to feel guilty about it. He already has his answer to the most important question, after all – Tim's not still in love with a ghost, and if he didn't believe it when Tim said it the kiss in his hallway was enough to convince him.

He still has questions – some he knows he has to ask even if he doesn't want to hear the answers – but they'll wait. For now he knows what he needs to know, and by the time he pulls into his apartment complex the last thing he's thinking about is some faceless name from Tim's past. It's all he can do to focus long enough to turn the engine off, then they're at his front door and he barely manages to get the door open because Tim's chest is pressed against his back and his mouth is on Tyler's neck again.

By the time the door closes behind them Tim's hands are already under his shirt, pushing the fabric up over his stomach and Tyler twists in his grip to slide his arms around Tim's neck. They're still moving slow, stumbling together toward the bedroom with a few brief pauses to shed a shirt or a pair of shoes. By the time his legs hit the mattress he's down to a pair of khakis and a sock, and he pulls both off as quickly as possible before Tim pushes him back onto the mattress.

He pushes himself up onto his elbows to watch Tim tug the rest of his clothes off, tossing them on the floor before he lets Tyler pull him onto the bed. And he already knew he'd never get tired of kissing Tim, but now…now there's something more behind it, that thing Tyler's been trying not to think about because he's terrified of jumping to the wrong conclusions. But he's felt it before, and even though he tries to ignore it he knows it can only mean one thing.

This isn't the first time he's been in love, it's just the first time it's been this complicated. It's worth it, though, worth three months of waiting and holding his breath every time it looked like Tim might bolt, because Tim's kissing him with an intensity that makes Tyler's whole body flush. He can feel it all the way to his toes, in the roots of his hair and in his cock as Tim settles on top of him.

And this…this is how he wishes they could stay forever, fitted together like they were made for this and Tim's hips moving in slow circles against him. He thrusts up a little harder each time, rocking against the body pressing him into the mattress until they're panting against each other. Tim's mouth leaves his to trail down his neck, mouth following his hands across Tyler's collarbone to nip at his shoulder, then the soft skin just inside his arm. He sucks hard at the thin skin inside Tyler's elbow, not letting up until Tyler's straining against him and begging for something he can't even name.

Tim's always intense, but this is a whole new level of focus. His mouth maps every inch of Tyler's skin, seeking out all the spots that make him gasp and buck up against the hands holding him against the mattress. He laughs breathlessly when Tim's tongue traces the scar he's had since forever, then again when Tim sucks at the juncture of his knee. And he had no idea something as innocuous as a kiss pressed against his hip could turn him on so much, but he has a feeling it has more to do with the way Tim's focused on him than the places he's kissed.

When Tim's mouth closes over his cock he can't stop himself from arching into it, mouth open and eyes shut tight against the sensation. He knows it's going to be over way too soon, so he's almost grateful when Tim lets Tyler slip out of his mouth, straightening up long enough to reach over Tyler for a bottle of lube Tyler didn't even know was there. He has no idea where it came from, but he doesn't care because Tim's hands are on him again, pushing his knees apart and urging his hips up to push a pillow underneath him.

He hears the top of the bottle snap open as Tim leans over him, pressing their lips together again for a hard kiss. And this time it does feel rushed, urgent and frenzied and he wants Tim inside him _now_ , but he seems determined to take his time and Tyler knows arguing won't get him anywhere.

The first drops of slick liquid hit his balls, making him gasp and open his eyes as Tim chases the lube with his fingers. He presses down hard into the sensation when two fingers slide inside him, his voice catching on a moan as he pushes his knees even further apart. And he's never been self-conscious – he's spent most of his life making sure people noticed him – but this is different. This is Tim _watching_ , focus so intense that Tyler's pretty sure he wouldn't even notice if an entire swat team broke into the room, and he feels himself flush from the heat of Tim's gaze.

Tim knows exactly what he's doing – he's teasing Tyler, giving him just enough to make him want more but not enough to push him over the edge. He makes Tyler ask for more, thrusting down hard against fingers that don't quite reach the spot where he wants them most. Tyler's babbling something, begging maybe but he doesn't really care as long as Tim keeps doing what he's doing. And he's never come from just this, but he has a feeling he could.

He has a feeling all Tim would have to do is _ask_ , but he's not going to think about what that means right now.

His back is arched right off the mattress by the time Tim's fingers finally leave him, hands on his thighs to pull his ankles up over Tim's shoulders and it's not until Tim slides inside him that Tyler realizes he never stopped to put a condom on. And that's huge – that's bigger than making out in a deserted stairwell or even holding hands in a room full of Tyler's friends.

They've talked about it before, but only in vague terms, and Tyler always assumed Tim wasn't ready for that kind of commitment. Because he's made it pretty clear that it _is_ a commitment, and in their line of work they both have to take these things seriously. He's a little surprised that Tim didn't ask first – that's just the kind of guy he is, and that's one of the first things Tyler noticed about him. He's not complaining, though, because Tim's moving faster and there's no more pretense of trying to make this last.

He arches up into each thrust, pulling Tim deeper inside him until they're both red and panting and his fingers are digging so hard into Tim's back he's sure he's going to leave bruises. And even that thought makes him press up a little more urgently, because he's imagining Tim in the crime lab, fully clothed and only the two of them knowing those marks are lingering under his shirt. He likes knowing that Tim's _his_ , likes seeing him in the hall or lingering outside the A/V lab and knowing that he's touched parts of Tim nobody else ever gets to see.

This, he's pretty sure, is what they mean by 'hopelessly in love'. He thinks about saying it just to see if Tim will say it back, but it's the wrong time and anyway, he can't find his voice for more than a low, broken moan. Tim's cock brushes across his prostate with his next thrust, dragging another moan out of Tyler, and he reaches down to wrap his fingers around his own cock.

He thrusts into the circle of his fist, rocking between Tim's cock and his hand until Tim angles his hips just a little and sets off sparks behind Tyler's eyes. His grip tightens convulsively, orgasm taking him by surprise. His hand's still moving and he presses down harder, drawing Tim's cock even further inside. And he's pretty sure he's got an idiotic grin on his face, but if Tim notices he doesn't stop to ask about it. He's moving almost as soon as Tyler stops shaking, thrusts even more erratic and by the time he finally lets go his whole body is flushed bright red.

A few seconds later he's draped in Tim, hot and stifling and Tyler never wants to move from this position. He finds the strength to lift one arm, fingers pushing through Tim's hair as he pants against Tyler's neck. They both need a shower and he's sure Sandra will call to find out why they ditched her party eventually, but he's hoping she's got the sense to wait until tomorrow. Not that he's planning to answer the phone tonight, because everything he wants is right here in this bed.


End file.
